234. How to Stop Being Defensive

What truth are you refusing to admit because you’re afraid of what it will mean? Maybe you know you want a different role at work, you’re questioning whether something in your relationship is working, or you keep saying yes to things you secretly do not want to do. In this episod ...  Show more

Have you ever tried to convince yourself you shouldn’t be upset, while still feeling completely resentful underneath? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who feels frustrated that people attend her events less often than she attends theirs. I explore w ...  Show more

Someone says something that hits a nerve, and before you know it, you’re on the defensive.  Defensiveness is a normal reaction. But it can quickly escalate arguments and make things worse. Good news: there’s a better way to handle it. In this episode, I’m sharing 3 ways to stay ...  Show more

Defensiveness is a common reaction to criticism, where individuals become protective and guarded, perceiving a threat to their self-esteem or sense of identity. It is a natural response when feeling attacked, but if it becomes a habitual pattern, it can damage relationships and h ...  Show more

There are few things more frustrating than trying to figure out how to deal with a defensive partner. You just want them to understand how you feel and what you need, but they’re too busy defending themselves to truly listen.  Unfortunately, defensive reactions can make it diffi ...  Show more

In this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especi ...  Show more