#168: How to Support an Avoidant Partner to O...

In this Ask Steph episode, I share my perspective on the phrase “if they wanted to, they would” — and why it’s sometimes helpful, but often oversimplified.I talk about the difference between basic effort and genuine capacity, and why assuming someone’s behaviour always reflects a ...  Show more

Few decisions feel as emotionally loaded as deciding whether to keep trying in a relationship or to walk away. There is no universal right answer — and for many people, especially those with anxious attachment, this question can feel endlessly destabilising.In this episode, I sha ...  Show more

You long for more emotional intimacy in your relationship but your partner avoids deeper conversations?

This is where we talk about what you can do to support your partner feeling safe!

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I discuss living apart from my husband and the importance of maintaining a separate identity outside of your partnership. When we lack separateness, one or both partners can end up feeling trapped and lacking desire for one another. We cover: wh ...

Every worry you're "settling" if you stay with your partner? You're not alone: this thought process isn't your fault and it has good reason for being there-- but there are a ton of ways it isn't helpful when looking at relationships, especially for someone that struggles with rel ...  Show more

Jessica Baum shares her personal journey through anxiety and depression that led her into studying attachment theory and writing her books. She explains how cultural messages about independence often conflict with our biological need for connection, and how healing happens throug ...  Show more