137. Defensiveness & Shame

Do you tend to shut down and emotionally check out when things feel difficult? Or maybe you take over and try to control every outcome. In this episode, I explain why these two reactions are actually two sides of the same coin: attempts to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feeling ...  Show more

Do you believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, your work will suffer? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who worries that letting go of perfectionism will make her less motivated, less productive, or less successful. Tune in to hear why I belie ...  Show more

On this episode, I talk about the feeling of shame and being a burden to the people around you when suffering from anxiety. I go over the set-mindset and how you can break free from the shackles and begin to heal. I then talk about a powerful technique for those automatic nega ...

Have you ever felt like something about you was just…wrong? In this episode, we dive deep into the roots of shame—where it comes from, why we all experience it, and how it impacts our relationships in sneaky ways like defensiveness, over-explaining, or shutting down. Unpack the e ...  Show more

What do challenges as diverse as addiction, perfectionism, narcissism, and masochism have in common? They’re driven by a family of emotions that share “a painful awareness of self,” otherwise known as shame. This week, Savvy Psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen talks with psychologi ...  Show more

Waves of shame. They're icky, they're toxic, and they're not easy to escape. In this episode of The Gathering Room, Martha is talking about how we can move past this particularly intense form of anxiety and swim on to better horizons.Shame attacks us at the level of basic self-id ...  Show more