Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

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All Episodes

Conflict as a Tool for Growth (Esther Perel)

I believe this is the most-listened-to episode ever on Pulling the Thread. It’s a conversation that I had with therapist Esther Perel in 2023 that still stands to this day—but that’s Esther for you. I think it also highlights how difficult it remains for many of us to get comfort ... Show more

. 55min 22sec

Struggle Is Real—Suffering is Optional (BJ Miller, MD)

Hi, friends. For those who are interested, I’m saying more about this in my solo episodes, but as I was preparing to recover from a non-life-threatening (and yet major) health surgery, I spent some time thinking about what would be meaningful to share with you all for the next fe ... Show more

. 50min 29sec

A Life Update (Monthly Solo)

I spent the past month largely recovering from a (successful) double mastectomy—it was very intense, and I also had amazing care, from my team at UCLA, and from my family and friends. I am healing well and my prognosis couldn’t be better—I’m very lucky that intervention was early ... Show more

. 54min 7sec

Getting Out of the Unconscious Loyalty Trap (Mark Wolynn)

Mark Wolynn is a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, the director of the Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, and author of the recently updated classic It Didn't Start with You (there’s also now a companion workbook). I find his work endlessly fascinatin ... Show more

. 1h 3min

Reckoning with the End of a Relationship (Belle Burden)

After the shocking end of her marriage, Belle Burden chose not to let herself get erased. Today, we talk about what she chose instead and the person she’s evolved into since writing her stunning memoir Strangers. Burden reminds me that while we can’t always understand why people ... Show more

. 52min 27sec